Dear Material Girl: I posted my original love letter to you in February, 2012. After your appearance at last night's Grammy Awards show, I felt compelled to re-read what I had written. I stand by my every word and I offer this update....
You did apparently heed my counsel and covered up -- but surely you have the means to find a more creative stylist who isn't fixated on Roy Rogers or Colonel Sanders. Your attire and your performance were no celebration. Dare I say, your appearance was more heartbreaking than ever. Even Pink's cirque de ceiling replay was more interesting than you in western wear. What has happened to you, dear girl? I know you're no virgin to stealing the spotlight, but you've always done so through innovation and rule breaking. From your recent nasty little tweeting incidents to your unsteady use of a cane, it appears you are no longer our girl gone wild. Rather, you're just hung up, frozen.
Here's hoping you find your way again because after last night's outfit, I just want to dress you up in my love. And if you don't remember what I wrote before, it's posted below. Read and treat it like a little prayer.
Dear Material Girl: I have always loved you. I’ve been inspired by how you’ve consistently broken new ground throughout your career and how you continue to take risks as an artist and as a woman.
But Madonna, it’s time to wake up and cover up.
I say this as a fan and a friend. We are contemporaries. We started our careers at about the same age. Since then, you’ve beaten me and many other 50- something women in the fit and fabulous game. But you’re still our age and it’s starting to show. If your friends won’t tell you, at some point the media and a meaner public will.
Dear girl, please stop dancing and prancing around in what appear to be adult “onesies.” We know your thighs are lean and firm, but it’s kind of heartbreaking to see how you are beginning to resemble one of those Dancing Grannies who pop up on the Today Show every now and then. At least they know and acknowledge that they’ve gotten older.
Sure, Lady Gaga is nipping at the heels of your Dr. Scholl’s. But someday, she’ll be wearing them, too. You’re still more creative than she. You still have the power to once again reinvent yourself as the more mature Madonna, the more emotionally secure Madonna -- the Madonna who can make crow’s feet be in vogue.
Do it for us, your aging but still remarkable and devoted girlfriends; the ones who have been by your side for decades beginning with your virginal days on the gondola boat to this Sunday’s spot on the 50 yard line at Lucas Oil Stadium.
And please, oh please don't misunderstand me. You still look fantastic – uber-great in fact. And as you demonstrated at your press conference yesterday, you still dance magnificently. But it’s time to stop gripping those young, shirtless male dancers and get a better grip on a fact of life that like all of us, you’re getting older. In "Like A Prayer" (one of my favorites by the way) you sing that life is a mystery.